Sport - Caption Competition 151

England’s Richard Johnson (centre) claims the wicket of Zimbabwe’s Heath Streak during the second Test at Chester-le-Street.

New cap Johnson made a stunning entrance to top-level cricket by taking six wickets for 33 runs in the first innnings.

The hosts then went on to record a comprehensive innings and 69 run victory over their African opponents to win the series 2-0.

We asked you to send in your witty captions as Johnson’s team-mates, Robert Key and Michael Vaughan, join the celebrations.

The winner of this week’s BBC Sport Interactive goody bag is… J.P. McGuire of Thailand who came up with this cracker:

Silliness breaks out when everyone realises Johnson had put the false breasts on backwards.

Good work J.P. - a BBC Sport Interactive goody bag is on the way.

We’re now getting so many entries that we’ve decided to arranges them under different themes - hope you like it! Feel free to send us your feedback. And check out the best of the rest below.

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Totally topical taste

BEST IN CATEGORY Yes! Justine has been evicted from Big Brother! Phil, Hereford

Liverpool fan reacts to news that David Beckham is leaving Man Utd.
Mitesh Shah, England

Yes! Justine has been evicted from Big Brother!


Phil,
Hereford, England

England enjoy every moment of what it feels like to dominate before their next encounter…the South Africans.
Brandon, London

Richard Johnson smiles as he knows they’ll never find the sausages he smuggled in between his buttocks.

Gareth, Hertfordshire

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Bowled over

BEST IN CATEGORY Hussain is furious as three of his fielders go for the same catch. Justin Goodrich, Edinburgh

As Johnson lets yet another simple catch slip through his fingers, Vaughan is backing up to take the catch himself.
Tim Taylor, Wimbledon

Key: ‘Hurry and clear them up Rich, then we can go to lunch early.’
Savio Moniz, London

Vaughan: That was a jaffa Rich!

Johnson: Ooh yay! Food! I like the orangey stuff in the middle!

Ben Pearce, Bristol

Hussain is furious as three of his fielders go for the same catch.


Justin Goodrich,
Edinburgh

I told you I couldn’t bowl that fast without my arms getting stuck!
Tom, London

It was all his team-mates could do to prevent newcomer Richard Johnson from trying to bowl over and round the wicket at the same time.
Jim Brant, Daventry, UK

Proving unable to catch cricket balls, the England team trained with something a little larger.
Lizzie F, London, UK

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Look-a-likes

BEST IN CATEGORY Eric Cantona manages to barge his way past the bouncers into yet another caption competition. Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

Is that R2D2 on the left?


Mitesh Shah,
England

The other players show their admiration for Johnson after he won the Tom Hanks lookalike competition.

Tom, England

Following his success as a world class footballer, Zinedine Zidane’s cricket career looked like it was going to be just as rewarding.
Luke Bennett, Nuneaton

Robert and Michael prevent a well-disguised Karl Powers from entering the playing area.

Bobby Ryder, Solihull

Paolo Di Canio leaves West Ham to take up cricket.


Bobby Ryder,
Solihull

With the world’s eyes on the test at Durham, Richard johnson thinks this is the perfect time to audition for the cheeky girls. Even his team-mates can’t keep their hands off, mistaking him for Gabriela.


Andy,
Merseyside

Eric Cantona manages to barge his way past the bouncers into yet another caption competition.

Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

The England boys do their Charlie’s Angels impressions.

Mike R, Durham Uni

Rob Key’s attempts to stop Greg Rusedski’s pitch invasion seemed hopeless.


Steve Shorthose,
Scotter

Key and Vaughan hold Johnson back from Kung-Fu kicking a member of the crowd.


Gareth,
Hertfordshire

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Sticky wicket

BEST IN CATEGORY Avoid sweat, attract cricketers. Rob Payne, Wigan

The bowling’s overarm - the deodorant’s underarm.


Nick B,
london

“What do you mean, I haven’t washed my armpits for weeks?”
Gareth, Hertfordshire

Underarm magnets prove too powerful to resist for Vaughan and Key despite hideous odour.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson refuses to divulge the whereabouts of his anti-perspirant despite a vicious tickling assault by Key and Vaughan.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Men’s sweat only attracts other men’s sweat. Sure.


Paul,
London, UK

Johnson unveiled his new secret power, the deadly armpit vortex!
TJ Winfield, Bristol

Johnson: “no sweat”.


Michelle Tulett,
Selby, North Yorkshire

Vaughan: ‘You were right about that deodorant Rich, it’s working like a charm even after six wickets!’


TJ Winfield,
Bristol

Johnson spies a deodorant marketing manager in the crowd.

Richard Pasco, UK

It’s true! Male sweat does only attract other men.


Colin Russell,
UK

The embarrassed Johnson is carried off the field when the England team realise he has confused his deodorant for a can of hairspray.
Steve, London, UK

Michael and Robert can’t help but wish that Richard’s deodorant was as effective as his bowling.
James Sutherland, Nailsea, Somerset

You can check if you want. But I tell you it was pretty easy work. Not even a white spot around my underarms!
R Thanawalla, Scotland, UK

Avoid sweat, attract cricketers.


Rob Payne,
Wigan

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Cap comp classics

BEST IN CATEGORY Another accident with the superglue results in male bonding. I. Diot, England

A cut-out Richard Johnson?! I always wanted one of them!

Richard Pasco, Reading, Uk

Michael Vaughan and Robert Key move Richard Johnson’s lifesize model into position
Trevor, Preston, UK

Another accident with the superglue results in male bonding.
I. Diot, England

He won’t be celebrating when he sees what we’ve put on his back.
Mark Endicott, Bristol

Richard Johnson does the hi-10 with the invisible man.
Ben Dunbar, England

Johnson prepares to be “Tango’d”


James Atkinson,
Sheffield, UK

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Toy boy

BEST IN CATEGORY Johnson’s accurate bowling had made Vaughan suspect he was a robot. To his amazement, the sign on his back read “Insert Key here!” Ollie B, Southampton

Key: “Now, if I press him here he bends over and touches his toes.”


Ben Dunbar,
Manchester, U.K.

Key and Vaughan together, “I told you to bring the batteries”.
Garry Waddell, UK

Every time you pull that loose thread his arms shoot up!
Rob Falconer, Wales

I told you we should have used Duracell….


John Lewis,
Finland

New bionic bowler overheats and is held up for repair.
Pete, Manchester,
UK

Johnson’s accurate bowling had made Vaughan suspect he was a robot. To his amazement, the sign on his back read “Insert Key here!”

Ollie B, Southampton UK

Key: “And this switch in his head makes his eyes move from side to side!”

Brendan O’Donnell, Lytham St.Annes, England

Every time you press his tummy, there’s this funny squeaking noise!
Rob Falconer, Wales

If you press the green button on your remote control, Johnson’s left arm will hit Vaughan on the head…
Ryan Spencer, Hertfordshire

You hold him steady while I wind him up.


Barry Payne,
Cleethorpes

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Ken Dodd-tastic

BEST IN CATEGORY Perilous days for planet earth, as the gods decide to give Atlas a good tickling. Si Griffin, UK

The hiring of new England cricket coach, Mr Tickle, is already showing positive results.
Michael, Perth, Australia

To give Zimbabwe a chance, the English fielders resorted to tickling each other when going up for a catch.
Si Griffin, UK

“I declare a tickle fight!”


Brian Lang,
Chicago, USA

Round and round the garden,
Like a teddy bear.
One step, two step…..


Frances Gregory,
Poland

Perilous days for planet earth, as the gods decide to give Atlas a good tickling.

Si Griffin, UK

Stop it, that tickles.


James Sutherland,
Nailsea, Somerset

“Come on, let’s do it again - round and round the garden…..
Kevin Darley, Selby, England

Vaughan furiously grabs the tickle-stick away from Robert Key.
Tim Taylor, Wimbledon

Stop you guys! That really tickles.


Rutang T,
Scotland, UK

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Dance the night away

BEST IN CATEGORY Richard couldn’t resist his Bhangra urges. Martin Mills, Morpeth

Calls for more women in cricket were gaining pace as Key and Vaughan clashed over the last dance.

Ibi, London

Key and Vaughan struggle to contain Johnson when he hears S Club 7’s reach for the stars on the public address system
Mike Cummins, Prescot, UK

Come on lads, join in…..Do the Locomotion…..


Bobby Ryder,
Solihull

Football-songsters “Fat Les” reform for test series against Zimbabwe.
James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Only the Y-M-C were missing from the routine.


Andy Tulloch,
Hemel Hempstead

Chaos erupts as two England fielders attempt to join the conga at the same point.

Si Griffin, UK

Johnson’s moment of glory was tarnished by his failed attempt to start a Mexican wave


Kevin Jones,
Coventry

Ok, hands up who brought “Agadoo” and played it in the changing room? Right, get him!
Steve Godrich, UK

“Hey Macarena”.


Ben Westoby,
Grantham

I just can’t get the hang of this ballet!


Richard Chapman,
High Wycombe

Britain’s newest pop sensation, ‘The Cricketers’ with their cover of YMCA.

Harry, Perth, Australia

Bob and Mike decided to entertain the crowd on the fourth day by doing the Heimlich manoeuvre to music.

Garry Waddell, UK

Johnson: ‘Join the ballet lads.’


Hemia Jayasuriya,
Woking

Flushed by his Test debut success, Johnson decides to have a crack at flamenco dancing.

John Lewis, Finland

Richard couldn’t resist his Bhangra urges.


Martin Mills,
Morpeth

Sorry Richard, but Nasser says you can’t join in the Mexican wave.
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK

“Hands up, baby hands up, give me your heart gimme gimme, your heart gimme gimme”.

James Vincent, Doncaster

More YMCA than LBW!


Steve Boyde,
Barrow

Johnson “It’s fun to play at the Cheeeeeesta-le-Street”.

Michelle Tulett, Selby, North Yorkshire

The Mexican wave got off to a bad start


Graham McD,
Livingston

The filming of the new Bacardi Breezer advert seemed to be going well.


Natalie Boardman,

Everybody in the house say ‘Yeah!’


Natalie Boardman,

England’s ‘S Club 7′ tribute dance was so complicated, only Johnson got the hang of it.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Hands up, baby hands up! Give me your heart, gimme gimme your heart, gimme gimme all your love!
Roger, Teesside

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Regulars’ banter

BEST IN CATEGORY Yeah, playing Test cricket is a bit like the Cap Comp. A flurry of published articles on the first day, nothing in the middle part, and a flurry of articles again in the last few hours on the last day. Mitesh Shah, England

Si Griffin is warmly welcomed back to the Caption Comp fold after a short toilet break.
Mike Goudge, UK

Zimbabwe’s batsmen were bemused by the new Caption Competition arrangement, and Johnson took full advantage.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Si Griffin is held hostage by fellow captioners, but still manages to submit a few entries via semaphore.

Si Griffin, UK

Johnson goes into a “we are not worthy” routine due to BBC Caption Competition judges’ excellent categorisation idea.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

YAY! Stephen Tucker has finally won the BBC Cap Comp!
Stephen Tucker, USA

Yeah, playing Test cricket is a bit like the Cap Comp. A flurry of published articles on the first day, nothing in the middle part, and a flurry of articles again in the last few hours on the last day.
Mitesh Shah, England

Another sportsman proves his lack of stigmata.


Some guy from Morpeth,
Morpeth

Si Griffin, Caption Competition Grand Master, shown here displaying how many captions he enters per hour, is mobbed by adoring BBC Cap Comp judges.


Mike Goudge,
U.K.

The boys are ecstatic at ousting Henman from the Cap Comp picture.
C. Hunter, England

The lads are jubilant at the news that Sarah L has okayed the photo.
C. Hunter, England

The longsighted palm reader clearly has better news for Johnson than he did for Henman.

Si Griffin, UK

Yay! No stupid “kick me quick” captions!


Richard Pasco,
Uk

With Si Griffin M.I.A it’s open season for the coverted prize of most captions entered.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson realises he’s won the BBC Sport Interactive goody bag.
Gareth, Hertfordshire

The England players celebrate Rob Falconer and Clare Daniele’s record partnership for the number of entries in the caption competition
Alan ball, NZ

OK, hands up John Lewis, we know you’ve got your unabridged Alan Coren caption writing dictionary in there somewhere!

Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

Johnson, like Henman in the previous Caption Competition, proves once and for all the he does not have hairy palms.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Key: “That’s it Richard, stay there and Rob Falconer is sure to think of another witty caption for this, perhaps if I just touch your breast… ouch!”
TJ Winfield, Bristol

Cap Comp judges celebrate their reduced work load, as Si Griffin appears to be on holiday…

John Lewis, Finland

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Say what you see

BEST IN CATEGORY Silliness breaks out when everyone realises Johnson had put the false breasts on backwards. J.P. McGuire, Thailand

I’m telling you, I’ll buy the drinks, but you won’t find my wallet!
Mike Gant, Leeds

The world watches in astonishment as cricket’s first Siamese twins take to the field.

Andy Tulloch, Hemel Hempstead

Hands on faith healers work miracle for man with two broken arms.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Richard Johnson celebrates after being told he will not go on England’s next Winter tour.

Kevin Tracey, Scotland

His secret identity compromised, Superman was kept from flying away by the “Mad Hatters”.

Neal Berridge, UK

Johnson had clearly enjoyed himself on the Chester-le-Street Death slide.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

“Turn round Richard mate - Mecca’s in that direction.”
simon, hitchin

After a few beers, Johnson would often try and gate-crash other people’s celebrations.
James Wiffen, Chelmsford, Essex

OK Robert, you grab his undies and we’ll give him a wedgie!!”
Jeff Gill, UK

Silliness breaks out when everyone realises Johnson had put the false breasts on backwards.


J.P. McGuire,
Thailand

Johnson’s celebration at entering the Guinness Book of Records for longest time with a ferret in your whites continued during Key and Vaughan’s frantic effort to remove the dizzy creature.


Michael Bate,
Mullingar, Ireland

Field maintenance team at Chester-le-street are surprised what popped up after the use of Miracle Grow.

Mike Goudge, UK

After 24 hrs on the rack Richard ‘Shorty’ Johnson is stretched to bowler size.

Mike Goudge, UK

Suddenly Richard spotted Alice Cooper in the crowd and launched into his “We’re not worthy” routine.
Mark Mullaly, Birmingham, UK

“Sorry son, arms up, you’re under arrest. You’re going back to OZ, no-one is THAT good in England.”

Rick Baker, Grimsby, UK

After bowling naked for seven overs Johnson is finally forced to get dressed by Key and Vaughan.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Birthday boy gets nasty shock when male stripper jumps out of cake.
Mitesh Shah, England

After being bet that he could not carry two of his team members across the out field, Richard Johnson finally puts Key and Vaughan down.


Mike Goudge,
U.K.

“And stretch - 4 - 5 - 6.”


Rick Baker,
Grimsby, UK

As the team attempted to hold him down, it appeared that Richard Johnson’ new hover boots were becoming a problem.
Andy Tulloch, Hemel Hempstead

Ah, I see what’s happened. Your bra strap’s snapped.


Rob Falconer,
Wales

Vaughan: “All hands on deck, we’ve got to stop him doing his triple back-flip celebration. We have enough injuries already!”
Sanjay Ghelani, Edgware

After stumbling into a spectator’s huge cooler of ice going for that high boundary stopping catch, a frozen Johnson is removed from the field of play.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Richard Johnson played along as Key and Vaughan tied him up with invisible thread…

Linsey, England

Johnson saves Vaughan from the evil helmet-headed mugger.
Paul Wilson, Hemel Hempstead

Johnson was in error to trust his team mates when they told him to fall back and they would catch him.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

High jinx at Chester-le-street as Richard Johnson hangs off the main stand roof by his finger tips with Key & Vaughan attached to him.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Richard is thrilled to pull off the double-tuck somersault in his floor exercise.

James Atkinson, Sheffield, UK

Richard Johnson’s celebrations disrupt a heated ‘helmets are better than sun hats’ debate.

Peter Blow, Guildford, UK

Despite his haul of six wickets, Richard Johnson discovers that he is not superman and cannot fly.
Dom White, London, UK

The England team’s lack of co-ordination and fitness is shown here as Key and Vaughan completely miss Johnson’s ‘high five’ attempt, instead smacking him on the back and chest thus further adding to England’s injury worries.

Gurpreet Kahlon, Vienna, Austria

England cricket team in high five fiasco.


Mike Goudge,
U.K.

Cricketer drops bat down back of t-shirt.


Pete,
Manchester, UK

Key and Vaughan enjoy winning another 50p in the rock, scissor and paper game knowing that Johnson always goes for paper.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Key and Vaughan celebrate finally waking Johnson up from his impromptu nap.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson lets his fingernail polish dry before bowling next over.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Nice try, Richard, but I think we’ll need a ladder to change the bulbs in the floodlights
Rob Falconer, Wales

Vaughan: ‘Look, I can get half my arm into his arm-pits!’


Clare Daniele,
UK

The players sniggered childishly at the fact they’d won by 69 runs.
Lizzie F, London, UK

Johnson winces as so many celebrations in so short a period cause him to pull a muscle in his back.
Beaz, Hinckley

It took two men to hoist Johnson up for his parallel bars routine.
Si Griffin, UK

Bowler runs into glass door.


Pete,
Manchester, UK

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Pun fun

BEST IN CATEGORY Cap competition won by bowler. (Okay, it isn’t funny - but it’s bordering on clever!). C Hunter, England

Johnson loved a bit of first slip and tickle.


Bert B,
London

Vaughan: “I read somewhere that the best caption wins a goody bag.”
Key: “That’ll be Nasser Hussein, then.”
Vaughan: “Or maybe that explorer bloke…Caption Oates.”
Key: “No point in us carrying on then. We haven’t got a caption between us - he’s just a bowler.”
(The three exit stage left, looking disconsolate).


C. Hunter,
England

Having long admired everybody else’s headgear, Johnson was delighted to hear he’d be getting his first cap.
Rebecca, Cambridge

Key and Vaughan help Johnson take off his shirt as he does a Streak.
Mike R, Durham Uni

Johnson featured in BBC’s new CAPtion competition.


Mike Goudge,
U.K.

Johnson celebrates but the Zimbabwe captain laments, as it is England who have the winning streak!


Peter Collier,
Nottingham

Cap competition won by bowler.
(Okay, it isn’t funny - but it’s bordering on clever!).

C. Hunter, England

The Key to Johnson’s success was the deodorant he had Vaughan!
Phil, Hereford, England

Vaughan again Johnson is Key to England success.


Pete Clark,
Leek, Staffs

“You misheard me, Richard. It’s a CAP Comp, not a camp comp”.
C. Hunter, England

Lewd laughter ensues as the lads watch Heath streak.


C. Hunter,
England

After preventing all of Zimbabwe from getting the runs, Johnson celebrates winning the Nobel prize for medicine.

C. Hunter, England

Previously tipped to win the cap competition, Johnson was later disqualified for forgetting his cap.
C. Hunter, England

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Sur-really great

After a gruelling day, the cricket stumps celebrated the end of their shift.

Neal Berridge, UK

BEST IN CATEGORY Key and Vaughan acted quickly to prevent Superman disclosing his identity in the heat of the moment. Lizzie F, London

Who said nobody listened to Timothy Leary? Ride that magic bus!
Mark Gerula, Finland

After a bemused cow wandered onto the Chester-le-street field of play, Vaughan, who always wanted to be an animal doctor, proved the point by inserting his hand where only trained vets should go, while Johnson covered up the ghastly display. The cow was later seen at a near by pawn shop trying to sell an imitation Rolex.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

During a breathtaking publicity stunt, Johnson prepares to leap from John Prescott’s abdomen on to a pile of cardboard boxes far below.
C. Hunter, England

Suspicions that the drinks in the locker room were spiked were confirmed yesterday as Johnson was heard shouting…”Look, I’m a wabbit…I’m a wabbit”.

Mike Duncan, Perth, Australia

The celebrations ended in disaster when the players got velcroed to Johnson’s sports bra.

Lizzie F, London, UK

Johnson’s just about to bowl his next delivery when he jerks. He finds himself sat in his bed, cursing his luck. Again.

Ole, Worksop

“C’mon guys - it’s the second star to the right and straight on ’til morning!”

Simon, Hitchin

Over-exposure of the World Synchronised Swimming Championships starts to show.
Mike Duncan, Perth, Australia

Vaughan stared in disbelief as Richard Johnson dropped out of the sky right in front of him as he went to congratulate Key.

Luke Bennett, Nuneaton

Key and Vaughan rotated Richard ‘the human drill bit’ Johnson as fast as they could to make the hole Zimbabwe were in even deeper.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

The England bowler takes full advantage of the BBC outside broadcast unit’s new “SmellyVision” technology to enjoy a full interactive experience with unsuspecting cricket viewers.


John Lewis,
Finland

I can’t think of a funny caption but if you’re interested I can tell you he’s going to have a long life, he’s going to be happy, and he’s going to earn lots of money.

Madame Azul, Gypsy Land

After years apart, Vaughan and Key were reunited after the fall of the “Johnson” wall.

Richard Pasco, Uk

For a life and death situation, the England fielders found the quicksand more amusing than should be expected.

Si Griffin, UK

Dry-land synchronised swimming was never going to catch on.

Lizzie F, London, UK

Tussles broke out as the Lurpak Man auditions grew competitive.
Lizzie F, London, UK

Key and Vaughan acted quickly to prevent Superman disclosing his identity in the heat of the moment.
Lizzie F, London, UK

I may be bald,

And I may be old,

But I can still do what I am told!

Sahil Omar, Basingstoke

Johnson was elated that growing a third arm as a last ditch attempt to make the England squad had finally paid off.

Luke Bennett, Nuneaton

As a strange white UFO hovered above Richard, he found himself being slowly drawn towards it.

Luke Bennett, Nuneaton

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Miscellaneous

BEST IN CATEGORY “I’m sorry sir, but you can’t come in ‘ere if you’re not wearin’ a funny ‘at….” John Lewis, Finland

Vaughan: “Can you think of any witty words to describe Johnson’s joyous moment?”
Key: “Errm…how about, Johnson has joyous moment?”
Vaughan: “Looks like another goody bagless week for us, then.”


C. Hunter,
England

Yes, isn’t it funny how Vodafone sponsor successful teams like Ferrari F1, Man Utd and…er, the England cricket team.

Mitesh Shah, England

England players celebrate when news reaches them that C. Hunter has finally run out of crass cap comp captions.
(See you next week).


C. Hunter,
England

The whole thing, two words, ten letters…you’ve got it boys…”Lucky Dicky” (Johnson).

Des O’Grady, Nottingham

Johnson wears a small black arm band in sympathy for the death of Zimbabwean cricket.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson replaces Henman in the washing powder ad.
PS: That’s why Henman looked a bit miffed in the last Cap Comp.
Mitesh Shah, England

“Stuff the cricket. I’ve just won the national lottery.”
C. Hunter, England

Johnson practices England’s approach to the next Ashes series.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Only Johnson stands in way of true love.


Pete Clark,
Leek, Staffs

Key: “Oooh, what lovely little ears he has!”
Vaughan: “Let me see let me see!”


Jeremy Dallyn,
Finland

Jeremy Dallyn: ‘Can I make the joke about the Johnson’s Baby Powder now seeing as nobody else has?’

Jeremy Dallyn, Finland

In a perplexing moment of regression, Johnson re-enacts his performance in a baby powder ad.
C. Hunter, England

Confusion reigns as Key, Johnson and Vaughan have forgotten how to celebrate.

David Dibb, UK

Watch manufacturer denies bribing BBC caption competition photographer.
Martin Mills, Morpeth

Johnson reacts at the news that he is to cricket what Beckham is to entertainment. We now wait to see his reaction when he is told that it was Victoria they were talking about and not David.

Mitesh Shah, England

On father-son sports day, the other dads regretted opting for cricket.


Rebecca,
Cambridge

“Grab on lads I’ll fly you home”.


T J Spencer,
Derbyshire

Richard: “This isn’t football: no kissing and hands where I can see them boys”
Dave, UK

Vaughan says “I told you if we went through the alphabet we would find a team we could beat.”

David Dibb, UK

Hello, I’m Julian and this is my friend Sandy….


John Lewis,
Finland

“I’m sorry sir, but you can’t come in ‘ere if you’re not wearin’ a funny ‘at….”

John Lewis, Finland

Johnson throws his arms up in exasperation as he was unable to decide if he wanted a hard one or a floppy…er…hat that is.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson: A couple more wickets and it’s my turn to wear the sweater!
Stephen Tucker, USA

At the current rate of hugs-per-wicket, Johnson may be hugged again thrice more this decade.

Stephen Tucker, USA

“No, Richard! It really is a tradition to pinch the bowler’s back after he takes a wicket!”

G. Gollinger, Pittsburgh, USA

Johnson shows spectators how many wickets he will get in his next Test match.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson, a victim of having his head cut off in photographs, nervously tries to make sure this picture stays big enough.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

Johnson surrenders to undercover cricket police after stealing six wickets.
Mike Goudge, U.K.

Key and Vaughn are just in time to stop another embarrassing handstand celebration attempt by Johnson.

Mike Goudge, U.K.

5.9, 6.0, 5.8, 6.0, 6.0, 5.9, 6.0.


Martin Mills,
Morpeth

Yipeeee, I’ve nearly lasted a whole day without getting injured!
Peter Cross, Kent, England

Richard approves of the new security measures put in place before the match.
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

Johnson: “Look mum. No grass stains on my new whites!”
Sarah L, UK

‘See. I’m not just a pretty face.’


Sarah L,
UK

Vaughan: “Don’t worry Richard, I think about five more wickets today and you should have perfected your celebration!”
TJ Winfield, Bristol

Vaughan: ‘Right Robert, take him away!’


Phil,
Hereford, England

Johnson approves of the ‘diamond’ formation.


Sarah L,
UK

The boys relax when play is suspended due to a blurred background.
C. Hunter, England

Johnson tries the Cap Comp frame for size, prior to Henman’s predicted return in competition number 154.
C. Hunter, England

Vaughan and Key suspected Johnson may have eaten a little too much of Phil Tufnell’s ’special’ fudge brownie in the tea interval.

Martin Mills, Morpeth

Heath Streak: “Say, Richard Johnson, Robert Key, and Michael Vaughan are pretty weird names, eh?”
Clare Daniele, UK

Richard Johnson prepares to welcome a very tall, but rather skinny, female streaker.
Rob Falconer, Wales

Vaughan: ‘Don’t worry; I can get your coat hanger out.’


Rob Falconer,
Wales

I told you you’d over-wind the key.


Rob Falconer,
Wales

If I pull your corset any tighter, you’ll be skinnier than Victoria Beckham.


Clare Daniele,
UK

There, is your corset tight enough now?


Rob Falconer,
Wales

Vaughan and Key quarrel over who should be accompanying Richard Johnson in portraying Leonardo DiCaprio behind Kate Winslet at the front of the Titanic.
James Hunt, Leeds, U.K.

Vaughan and Key get muddled up as they momentarily switch to playing rugby union, here they are about to hoist Richard Johnson in the air to catch the line out.
James Hunt, Leeds, U.K.

To dispel romantic rumours about Robert Key and Michael Vaughan, the England cricket team request the BBC to superimpose an image of Richard Johnson between them.

Mike Duncan, Perth, Australia

Ric’s ‘bodysearch’ celebration was going well until Michael Vaughan found two shotguns and a grenade.
Naomi, York

Hands up if you share the same name as a jockey who’s dating Princess Anne’s daughter?
Bobby Ryder, Solihull

Johnson: “…and the bat was this big!”
Key: “Ha ha, you certainly are the joker Rich.”


TJ Winfield,
Bristol

Joyous scenes as ECCB graft Shane Warne’s arm to homegrown talent.
Danny, Southampton

Johnson’s premature arrival in the Cap Comp is about to end as his pals drag him out of the picture. Hmmm…

…But Johnson puts up a spirited resistance and tries to hang on to the top of the frame.

(Don’t miss next week’s thrilling instalment).


C. Hunter,
England

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Sport - Venues for Cup semi-finals named

Hull Kingston Rovers and St Helens will play their Challenge Cup semi-final at Huddersfield’s Galpharm Stadium on Saturday, 29 July (1230 BST).

Rovers, who beat Warrington to become only the second National League club to reach the semis, lifted the Cup for the only time in their history in 1980.

In the other last-four clash, Leeds, beaten finalists in two of the last three years, take on Huddersfield.

That game takes place at Bradford’s Odsal Stadium on 30 July (1500 BST).

What better way than to test yourself against the team that is at the top of the Super League Hull KR coach Justin Morgan

The Leeds tie will pit Giants coach Jon Sharp against his old Huddersfield boss Tony Smith.

Hull KR coach Justin Morgan will also be up against a familiar foe, his former Parramatta and New Zealand Warriors boss Daniel Anderson.

Family ties will also be tested as Anderson’s brother Hunter is married to fellow Australian Morgan’s sister Nicole.

“I see it as a nice reward,” said Morgan, who also took Toulouse to the semi-finals last year.

“I’m quite pleased with the draw.

“It will be a great occasion for the club and the players. What better way than to test yourself against the team that is at the top of the Super League.

“They’ve got some great players and they play a great brand of rugby league. They’re sprinkled with superstars.”

Anderson has guided Saints to 14 wins from their 15 matches so far in Super League XI, while Rovers’ 40-36 Warrington victory was a Hull KR club-record 18th straight win.

I think Huddersfield are a real dangerous package Leeds assistant coach Brian McDermott

Anderson said: “It was a little bit nerve-wracking watching the draw. It’s not that I didn’t want to play Leeds but we play them the week before the semis.

“It would have been an ugly little couple of weeks with smoke and mirrors.”

In the Yorkshire derby, the Rhinos will be firm favourites but assistant coach Brian McDermott is warning his team to beware of his former Bradford team-mate Robbie Paul.

The 30-year-old Kiwi is a veteran of five Cup finals and was the Giants’ man of the match in their 44-14 quarter-final win over Salford.

“I think Huddersfield are a real dangerous package,” said McDermott.

“Everyone knows what St Helens are about and Hull KR have shocked the game of rugby league with their win over Warrington.

No-one will expect us to win…which means all the pressure will be on Leeds Giants coach Jon Sharp

“But no one appears to be talking about the Giants. You just have to look at how they tore Salford apart to see how good they are. They will be a real threat.

“Huddersfield have hit some form recently and Brad Drew in particular has been outstanding and then they’ve got a little fellow who I know plenty about in Robbie Paul.

“Robbie is unpredictable. He doesn’t play too much to game plans but he can rip any team apart. He will be a very dangerous player against us.

“He has experience of playing in semi-finals and I am sure he will be able to give them some tips on preparation.”

Huddersfield’s Sharp said: “We’re happy with the draw. It’s a game where we know we’ve nothing to lose and everything to gain.

“No-one will expect us to win, apart from those inside this club, which means all the pressure will be on Leeds.

“It’s a tie where we can go out there and enjoy the occasion.”

The final will take place at Twickenham on 26 August.

Originaly from

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